A Year in the Life of a
Czech Plush Monkey.

Week 44:  14 - 20 Nov. 2004

Sunday, 14th
Lavinia Waterhouse
born 1809
I framed meself!

Lavinia Waterhouse framed.

Today Monkey breaks with tradition to celebrate someone else: Lavinia Waterhouse. (Don't worry; he'll return to self-absorption tomorrow.)

Dr. Waterhouse was a writer, midwife (to the famous Crocker family), progressive thinker, and important California suffragette. She lived in Sacramento and Pacific Grove. Her P.G. home still stands. Inside it also stands Monkey's author friend, Joyce Krieg. Oops, sits. No stands, sits, runs, stretches, turns...

"She's either jazzercising or her cat is giving her another workout," Opice explains.

Monday, 15th
What about the spawning?

An imaginary number (square root of (-1).)
of Monkey diary readers wrote in asking, "Where was the spawning last week? There was no fish spawn!"

The hatchery's sorded secret.

Folks, the hatchery has a sordid secret Monkey spared you from seeing. However, he offers the above censored foto. For those who must strip the veil of false modesty away, move your mouse over the picture. Monkey warned ya!

Hollywood Monkey.

Tuesday, 16th Day 300

Amazing. This is the 300th day in the Chinese year of Monkey.

Has it gone to Monkey's head?
Has his celebrity web-presence changed him in any way?
Has being the center of attention spoiled Opice?

What do you think?

If you're wondering what Monkey might do during the remaining 64 days of his year, I have some very bad news for you. You have to learn how to count in moon units, not solar days.

There are 84 more days on the Chinese lunar calendar this year! Nor are there 52 weeks, rather 54.8 weeks total before Monkey's reign ends and we welcome the Year of the Chicken (rooster, whichever).

What does all this mean bottom line? No rest for the wicked any time soon. As for whom the wicked might be, let your imagination be your guide. Me? I just write down what he does. Rest time? I think not.

Wednesday, 17th
Meet the Mouse.

At least one good thing has come of Monkey's online adventures: Whitney Mouse.

As an official Uncle Monkey, Opice inspired his niece to begin a website for her plush mouse. In so doing she's honing a number of skills including: webdesign, writing/ story development, digital photography, graphics animation, and most important of all--Monkey appreciation.

Whitney Mouse (another view).
Click to visit Whitney.
Opice says he and Whitney are considering starting a plush online community,
or maybe a user's group, or webring.

"We could build an entire insecure virutal network!"
oin the Monkey-Whitney Webring.
(This is the ring's secret internet tunnel.)
Join Whitney-Monkey Webring.

Thursday, 18th

Whitney & Monkey sit down to play their 2nd most favorite game, The
We're Not In Kansas, Are We?
trivia game.

It's complicated. They have to answer questions to win pieces of the rainbow. When a player makes a complete rainbow (s)he has to get to the Emerald Palace first to win.

Opice just drew a Wicked Witch card: "Who wrote Surrender Dorothy across the sky?" His guess (Flying Monkey King) is better than the card's answer, so he takes a rainbow piece.

Whitney drew a Girlfriends card: "What good advice does Glinda give Dorothy?" Mouse knows right away, "Follow the Yellow Brick Road, but wear Ruby Red flats. Lose the heels."

Monkey agrees; sensible shoes are a must. Therefore Whitney also wins a rainbow color.

This looks like a win-win game to me.

Playing "We're Not in Kansas, Are We"

"Alas poor auto, I knew you well."
Wailing lamentations.

Friday, 19th

Remember a couple weeks ago when Monkey & Václav tried fixing the car? Remember how they changed the gas filter and that didn't help; and how Monkey found a spare tire stuck under the car, but that didn't solve anything either?

Haven't you been curious whatever happened with the car? Didn't you wonder if Monkey ever fixed the problem? Weren't you wondering how long it took before Václav got tired of Monkey's help?

There's bad news ahead, folks. Worse,
Be afraid; be very afraid!

Saturday, 20th
~ ~ ~
Monkey's 1980 car is dead.
Long live the new second-hand car.
~ ~ ~
It was a dull and foggy morn.
I turned to the Chauffeur and asked him
to tell me a story.
He began, "It was a dull and foggy morn..."

The last drive (Monkey's first).
Takin' off the tags.

It was a sad, foggy, cold morning when the old, sick car had to go to a recycling charity's auto graveyard.

Because it was Opice's first car, we let him drive it on its final road trip. We could tell he was extremely depressed by how fast he drove.

He wanted to cry when we got there. But Václav gave him a hug and a wrench and told him to remove the vanity plates. Václav knows nothing improves Monkey's mood like an appeal to vanity.

As we left Opice told Nike dog (who always rides shotgun on any passenger's lap), "Don't be sad. It will go to a good home or blast furnace."

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